Chapter 1: Preface

Okay guys, so today I have some of my OWN book.  That's right.  My book.  My first one.
I've been working on it for a really, really long time.  Like a few years.  And the beginning is VERY VERY ROCKY.  Very.  But it gets way better as you go on so just bear with me.  :)
I need input on this.  Really.  More than anything else.  Please.  I beg you.  Please.  Please.  Please.
Also I don't have a title so I will just call it My Book.  ;)
That's something I'll need suggestions from you later.
Well, here goes:
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                                                                    CHAPTER 1
    Long ago........
    Screams sounded through the castle.  Blood was being shed.  The king and queen woke up abruptly, startled.  The baby in the cradle at the foot of their bed cried.  The king jumped out of bed.
    “We are being attacked,” he said as he hurriedly put on his armor.  “I must go and fight!  Go!  Escape!!  Protect our baby!”
    “No, Daniel!  You can't!  What about—“
    “Rosalyn,” said the king.  He walked over to where the queen stood over the cradle, holding her baby.  He cupped her chin in his hands.  “Go,” he said softly.  She smiled sadly.  He kissed her, and she went willingly to the door.  The queen paused, and turned around. 
    “Goodbye, Daniel,” she said, and slipped out.
    The queen ran down many stairways.  At the end of the fifth staircase, she heard voices.
    “Woik, woik, woik, oul we do is woik.  We capture the kink, and Boas says, ‘Go find the queen,’” said a scratchy but strangely young sounding voice.  “Woi don’t we get a break sometoims?”
    The queen pressed herself against the wall, muttering a spell.  She immediately turned invisible.
    “Ah, shut up,” said a gruff voice.  “You’re gonna get us all in trouble.  You know what happens if you disobey the boss.”
    Two creatures came in view.  They were wolves, tall and muscular, walking on their hind legs.  They both wore armor with a strange symbol on the chest plates.  It resembled a crooked flower, choked by thorns.  The two creatures walked in front of her, still talking about the amount of work they were assigned, when the older looking one stopped.
    “What?” said the younger wolf.  The other put a claw to his lips and looked around.  He stared at the queen for a while.  He walked closer.  She held her breath.  The wolf narrowed his eyes, then turned away.  “Thought I heard something.”  They walked away, still looking around suspiciously.
    The queen waited a full count of 100 before moving.  She ran through hallways, up stairs, down stairs, and through walls.  She finally stopped at a platform between two staircases.  The queen looked around, as if to see if anyone was watching, and whispered some unintelligible syllables.  The outline of a doorway appeared, and the queen pushed on it.  It opened.  She ran in, and shut the door behind her. 
    She was in a small, but very special room.  This particular room was so full of magic, one could smell it in the air.  The queen set her whimpering baby down on a pedestal in the middle of the room.  She shushed it, and the baby calmed down.  She stood before the pedestal, with her hands outstretched over her baby.  Her eyes glazed over as she worked a powerful magic.  Calling on the magic of the room, and the magic inside of her, she created a ball of pure magic, which she cupped in her hands.  She lowered her hands down to her baby’s heart, and placed the magic there.  The queen then picked up the baby, raised it to the heavens, and exerting herself as far as she had in her life, used the magic surrounding her, her own magic, and her baby’s magic, she whispered words known to not many still in this world.  The baby flashed a bright purple, then yellow, and then—

    It was gone.  The queen, exhausted from her exertion, crumpled to the floor in a dead faint.
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Once again, MADI, no comments on my name choices.  :P
So, whaddya think?  Cool?  Like it?  Once again, it's in Fantasia.  
Yay!  Cool beans.  I will post more later.
Fangirl on!
~~Zoë Wingfeather

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