Christmas: Day 12

~ ~ On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     My anticipation grew as the day went on. I couldn’t wait to see my love. The day crept by minute by minute. I found myself losing concentration at work as my mind drifted to what I should wear to the park. I--just--couldn’t--wait! Finally the moment came. I broke at least twelve traffic laws on my way home. I spent a whole hour on my hair and makeup and outfit. And I practically ran to the park.
     When I arrived, I eagerly searched for my love. I wandered around the park, peeking behind bushes and walking every trail, but I couldn’t find him. He wasn’t there. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe I had read the time wrong. I pulled the letter out of my pocket and smoothed its many creases. I had gotten the time right, and now it was 5:36 pm and my love still wasn’t here. I found my way to my favorite bench, which ironically overlooked the pond where I dumped my geese. Sitting down, I put my head in my hands. What had happened to my love?
     Suddenly I heard a commotion. Standing up, I squinted over at the other side of the pond. What could that be…?
     Over the horizon, on the background of the setting sun, marched a small band. Twelve drummers beat out a rhythm for eleven wind instrument players--there were horns, trombones, tubas, and trumpets. The ten long jumpers and nine dancers I’d met in the previous day were following the band in a small crowd, waving at me and smiling. I waved at them. They waved back.
     The parade gradually made its way over to my bench, where the instrument players marched in place and played their song. I clapped my hands and smiled. It was all amazing, and I was trying to be happy for the display they’d put on for me.
     The song ended, and I applauded. But the show wasn’t over.
     The small crowd parted, and there in the midst of the dancers and long jumpers and instrument players was my love. My hands flew to my cheeks as I gasped. He smiled at me, his special smile, and knelt down on one knee. The park had gone silent, even the spectators who had gathered to watch.
     “My love,” he said, “I know I’ve been away for a very long time. And these wonderful people have told me”--he gestured to the crowd--“that you patiently put up with what I sent you. Even all the strange birds.” He smiled and shrugged. “I figured if you could deal with all that, you might be able to put up with me. I love your little quirks and sarcasm and the way you deal with hard situations and the way your eyes shine when you’re happy and I could go on and on and on. I’ve realized that you’re exactly who I want to grow old with. You deserve all the best things in life, and I know I’m not the best, but,” he fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out a ring, “will you marry me?”
     I felt my eyes well up with joyful tears as I nodded.
     The crowd applauded as my feet brought me to him and finally, after so many long months, we were together again.

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IM SO SORRY THIS DIDN'T GET POSTED EARLIER IM A FAILURE LIFE HAPPENED IM SORRYYYY

But anyways yay this small series is finished now!! Yay!

Again I am so sorry that I missed posting this two days ago *wince*

I'll probably edit this tomorrow or something but anyways yeehaw!

School has started and today has been a day. I don't know when I'll be able to write again, so TTFN! Thanks to those who enjoyed this :)

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 11

~ ~ On the eleventh day of christmas my true love gave to me eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     At this point, I had come to expect a letter from my love. When I arrived home from work, I fed all my birds, doing my best to call them by name, and then read my letter. All that it held was a short sentence-- “Meet me in your favorite NYC park tomorrow at 5 pm.” It was signed by my love and, strangely enough, “11 + 12.” I’d noticed the gifts had increased by one each day, so I supposed that meant I would receive a total of 23 gifts tomorrow. To be honest, I was slightly scared about what the gifts would be. Hopefully not people again. I was, however, very excited to see my love. I never knew when he’d be coming home, and I was delighted at the notification. I felt butterflies whirling in my midsection, and I tried my best to quiet them. It had been so long since I’d seen him last--months, in fact. Minerva squawked. I threw a blanket over the french hens’ crate. I couldn’t wait to see my love. I hardly slept in my excitement.

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*insert sneaky fingers* the conclusion comes tomorrow so yay

Stay tuned for more as we finish this mini series with a shebang on a Saturday!

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 10

~ ~ On the tenth day of christmas my true love gave to me ten lords a-leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     I rose early to gather the eggs from the geese, depositing them at my neighbor’s doorstep in a carton. We had arranged for her to slide a check under my door each day in return for the eggs. I was getting $4.00 per half dozen, which wasn’t much, but turned out to be around $4.00 a day since the geese laid daily. When I got home from work, there was yet another letter waiting for me. In it, my love explained that he was sending ten of his friends home to keep an eye on me. A small part of my mind wondered whether that could be considered possessive. The ten friends dropped by my house later that day. Surprisingly, they were young, probably the same age as the dancers I’d met the day before, and were all very tall. The men explained that they’d just moved into several apartments in my complex, and that if I ever needed anything, I could count on them. I felt honored. It was almost like having my love home again. Except in the form of ten men with startlingly long legs. As the men talked to me, an idea entered my head. I asked them to come back in a few hours. When they left, I hurriedly cleaned and fixed some snacks--crackers, cheese, some easy make meatballs, even cookies. I also moved all my bird cages into my bedroom, which I knew I’d regret later. It was a nice day outside, so I walked down the street to the dance studio and personally invited all nine dance instructors over. That was the first evening in quite a while where I had a good bit of proper fun. All twenty of us gathered in my now crowded apartment, where we played video games and card games and ate food and overall had a marvelous time. My secret evil plan even worked--I managed to match up each of the dancers with one of the men, who happened to all be long jumpers. Who knew? On the other hand, who knew my love had such a wide range of friends? After they had all gone I cleaned up what little mess there was and pulled the bird cages out of my bedroom. I’d enjoyed myself, but I missed my love. I hoped he’d come home soon.

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Wow, what a scandalous piece of art up at the top there. I can see his calves :O

Two more days to go, and then I can finally disappear for, like, two more months. 

Okay, maybe not. But between class, homework, actual work, reading, and the gym (yes i've joined the gym, finally!!), I might not have much time at all to write. But we shall see, hmm? Things could change.

On a completely unrelated note, I just realized I've gone this whole story without giving names to anyone but the birds.

I hope everyone is enjoying those last few precious days of Christmas break, and I'll see you all tomorrow!

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 9

~ ~ On the ninth day of christmas my true love gave to me nine ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     The next day I received a letter from my love informing me that I now had responsibility for nine female dancers. Three were ballerinas, three were hip-hop dancers, and the last three were lyrical dancers. I sunk to my knees in my living room as I read the letter. This was too much. The letter explained that I had become their boss, and they would answer to me. I cried. The birds in my living room squawked, and I dumped some seed in their cages and then cried some more. What was I going to do with them? I couldn’t pay them, I wasn’t any sort of boss--what was I to do? After over a week of my love’s crazy ideas for gifts, I was nearly fed up. After I got home from work, the dancers showed up at my apartment. I invited them all in for coffee and explained my situation through tears. They were very polite, even though they kept sharing secret glances like they knew something I didn’t. They explained they would be teaching at a dance studio a few blocks away, but that they would be available for me at any time. Exhausted, I tried my best to make sense of the situation. It was impossible. The dancers assured me they’d stay out of my hair, but I was still confused. Why did my love think I had need for all these birds, eight cows and women, and now nine dancers? I'd never showed any interest in dancing--what was I do to with nine dancers who offered to put on a private show for me alone? What was my love up to?

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Let's take a moment to appreciate that gown in the clipart. It's beautiful--on the other hand, I wonder if the lady in the picture can fit through doorways...?

I promise all this is building up to something, even though it's cringey (cringey? cringy? whatever. there is cringe.). Hang in there for three more days.

Thanks for the, like, 15 of you who still bother to read this. You bunch of weirdos. I love you. <3

--Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 8

~ ~ On the eighth day of christmas my true love gave to me eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     My love sent me a message on the eighth day, telling me to go to a farm in the country. I obliged, confused again. Everyone seemed to know something I didn’t. The owner of the farm smiled when I told him who I was. He led me to a barn, where eight women were milking cows. He then proceeded to tell me that I was their boss. I was astonished. I had no clue how to be the boss of anyone--I could barely take care of myself! With as much courtesy as I could muster, I declined responsibility for both the cows and the women. The man insisted, telling me that my love had specifically wanted to give them to me. Now I was thoroughly befuddled. I sat down on a milk jar and put my head in my hands. What was my love trying to do to me? As much as I loved him, I certainly couldn’t take much more of his shenanigans. The owner of the farm sat down beside me and gently told me I could allow the maids and cows to continue their work here. Grateful, I agreed, asking if I could be sent a gallon of milk a week. He assured me it would be done, and then told me the proceeds of the eight cow’s milk would be credited to my bank account as well. I sighed in relief. The money would help fund my bird seed, and maybe help me afford something other than Ramen noodles for my meals. When I returned home I gathered the eggs from the geese and sold them to my granola old lady neighbor. She was a willing customer and promised to buy more eggs whenever the geese layed. I twisted the ring on my finger, this time the ring with the purple stone, and wished my love would come home soon so I could talk to him about his ridiculous gift choices.

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Christmas: Day 7

~ ~ On the seventh day of christmas my true love gave to me seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     I released those fowl into the wild NYC park too. I was done with birds. My love meant the world to me, but I couldn’t take seven more birds. I knew the swans would enjoy swimming through the NYC ponds much more than they’d like staying in my now-cramped apartment. Money was getting tight, even after only a week of having birds, and I began to buy Ramen noodles for most of my meals. It was just like college. Except I owned ten birds, my love was away, and I had fresh goose eggs. I just hoped the pear tree began bearing fruit soon.

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Exhibit A: I run out of material yet again

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 6

~ ~ On the sixth day of christmas my true love gave to me six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     I let out a deep sigh when the six geese turned up on my doorstep. Their wooden crate smelled terrible from the squashed eggs lying about. I missed my love, and I appreciated him, but this was simply too much. Under the cover of night, I took the geese to one of New York City’s parks and released them. They waddled to a bush and promptly settled down. Sighing again, this time in relief, I backed up, then paused. The geese were laying eggs, and were clearly not wild--they didn’t mind a bit if I came up to them and stroked their backs. They would probably stay here. I wondered if I could gather and sell the eggs. After all, my french hens were providing more than enough eggs for me alone. Selling eggs would provide extra income to help pay for the bird seed for my other birds. I snapped my fingers. One of the geese honked. It was perfect. I rubbed the ring on my finger, smiling as I thought of my love. I hoped he’d come home soon. I missed the weirdo. And I had a few questions for him.

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Well, Happy New Year! It's January 1st, 2018, and that's kind of a big deal. My prediction is that a lot of things are gonna happen this year. *finger guns*

I know, I'm practically an oracle. Anyways. Two posts today, because I didn't post yesterday. Aren't you guys lucky.

Don't eat too much today, and I wish you luck on all your New Year's Resolutions™!!

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 5

~ ~ On the fifth day of christmas my true love gave to me five golden rings, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     The rings came in a beautiful white box, which was shipped inside a nondescript cardboard box. They were absolutely beautiful. Each had a different color stone set in it--blue, red, green, white, or purple. I paused in my unwrapping. Was my love trying to tell me something? Typically proposals were done with just a single ring, so I shook my head. That couldn’t be it. Still, he was slightly unconventional.…I’d have to ask him when he returned home. Curious about their value, I took the rings to a jewelry shop to have them examined. Sure enough, they were certainly very expensive. I was delighted. A thought crossed my mind--maybe I could keep one or two, and sell the rest so I could have enough money to take care of my birds. Quickly, I shoved the thought away. They were too gorgeous to sell. The jeweler seemed interested in them, though, so I recovered the idea and saved it for later. Just in case. Still, I didn’t own much jewelry, and I thanked my love profusely for his gift. I slipped the white stoned ring on my finger and admired it. My birds squawked in the background. I threw a towel over their crates.

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At this point I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I'm supposed to be researching colleges. Instead, my mental state has declined to the point where I found myself smiling at work because I was thinking about Richard Armitage. Please send help.

Anyways. See everyone tomorrow!

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 4

~ ~ On the fourth day of christmas my true love gave to me four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     I almost screamed when the blackbirds were delivered to my apartment. The mailman politely asked me how many more birds I thought I’d be receiving, to which I obviously had no answer. I just hoped my love was done sending me birds. Briefly, I considered releasing them out my window. Then I realized that my love would probably be offended if I essentially threw away his gift. After all, when he returned he’d probably want to see me enjoying all the fowl he’d so kindly bought me. Nevertheless, I was still confused. I visited the owner of the local pigeon coop if I could house my newly acquired blackbirds with the pigeons. The rent was outrageous, but they did have to be kept in a separate place than the rest of the pigeons. The owner said they’d fight otherwise. It sounded reasonable, so I paid up. I wondered if my love knew how much these gifts were costing me. I decided to name all my birds. The partridge was Jessica; the turtle doves were Jemima and Steve; the french hens were Minerva, Lavinia, and Louise; and the blackbirds were Samantha, Jason, Arthur, and Guinevere. There was absolutely no way I was going to be able to keep up with all the names, but it was better than calling them “hey, you bird.” They were all very noisy. I draped blankets over the cages as soon as I got home from work, just to make them shut up.

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Colly birds, by the way, are just blackbirds. Also, did anyone else ever read those children's books about the chicken named Minerva Louise? Those were some classics in my family.

One day I'm gonna get better at writing but for now here have this cringey miniseries *shoves this post at you*

See you tomorrow!

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 3

~ ~ On the third day of christmas my true love gave to me three french hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     The mailman gave me a strange look as he handed me the crate containing three french hens. My confusion doubled. Three more birds? It would be nice to have some eggs--all three were of laying age--but three more? Now I had six birds to keep in my tiny New York apartment! Even the cashier at the pet shop looked confused when I bought yet another cage for the third day in a row. This one was a dog crate, because it had to fit three hens. When I got the crate home, I shuffled my birds around and stacked the partridge and turtle dove cages on top of the french hen cages. I checked my finances to make sure I had enough to feed the birds. I called and thanked my love, telling him to come home soon. I didn’t mention my confusion and concern at how I was going to manage feeding myself and six foul. They were from him, and he obviously thought of me when he bought them, so I would try to be content.

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Wow, I'm tired. Sorry for no outro yesterday, I was busy. I was busy today, too. I miss school, man. I can't wait to completely drown myself in homework this semester.

I really hope someone is enjoying these little fun paragraphs. See you guys tomorrow!

~~Zoë Wingfeather

Christmas: Day 2

~ ~ On the second day of christmas my true love gave to me two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     The partridge turned out to be very frustrating to raise. After an internet search, I found that in addition to being native to the eastern hemisphere, partridges were game birds. The thing was incredibly easy to startle, which was unfortunate, because I was also easily startled. I kept the partridge in my kitchen next to the pear tree, and whenever I came in just to get a glass of water, it squawked and flew around in the too-small cage and the loud noise made me squeal in surprise. The cage tipped over whenever the stupid thing tried to fly, too. It took about seven times for me to get very annoyed with it. To solve the problem, I placed bricks in the bottom of the cage. When my love gave me the two turtle doves, I was even more confused than I was when I had received the partridge. I wondered if he’d caught them in one of New York City’s parks. He was a little eccentric, but this was strange even for him. I bought another cage, this one a bit larger than the partridge’s, and put the turtle doves in it. They went beside the partridge’s cage. I wondered if my love knew I was lonely while he was gone, and was buying me odd birds to keep me company. The thought comforted me, and instead of buying Ramen noodles for my dinner, I bought bird seed.

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Christmas: Day 1

~ ~ On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree. ~ ~

     I was delighted when I received the gift. Pears were my absolute favorite fruit. I thanked my love for thinking of me, and because my backyard was a four-by-four-foot square of a sorry excuse for grass, I put the pear tree in my kitchen. I wasn’t sure how well it would grow inside, but if it bore fruit, hey, free pears. The partridge, however, was a different matter. The partridge confused me. Why did he give me a partridge? What was I supposed to do with a partridge? I supposed I could go to a park late at night and release it into the wild. It might get along with the pigeons and doves. Still, I wasn’t sure how long a partridge would survive in New York City. I figured I would get all sorts of funny looks if I gave it to the pound--apparently partridges are native to the eastern hemisphere--where and how did he get this thing, anyway?--so I opted to go buy a bird cage and see if I was any good at raising partridges as pets.

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I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas and ate lots of good food :)

As I mentioned in a former post, the short series inspired by the Twelve Days of Christmas will be posted on the twelve days of Christmas. Shockingly enough.

The main character gets much more confused as the story goes on. It's quite hilarious, actually. Anyways, I'm about to leave to go eat some more good food (Italian!), so I'll see you guys tomorrow!

~~Zoë Wingfeather