frozen.

every time she loved, she lost.

and every time she lost, a little piece of her heart froze.

she couldn't remember when she realized it.  perhaps she noticed it after the first few few times.  she was let down; she cried when no one could see; she felt as if a frigid block of snow had been placed in her chest.  her fingers and toes were cold.  she ignored the icy feeling in her chest.  she loved again.  she lost again.  she felt the cold again.

at 21 years old, her heart was already frozen nearly to the point of no return.  she changed.  her skin had taken on a blueish tint years ago, and her eyes were icy.  her hair, the beautiful raven black she had so loved, had begun to grow in platinum blond.  the coldness in her heart hurt her.  she was frightened, scared she'd never be warm again.  and when she cried at night, the tears froze on her cheeks.

she never told anyone, of course.  she couldn't let them see the hurt.  she wouldn't let them know that she was so very cold.  she just let them assume they were imagining her blue skin, let them think that she'd dyed her hair, let them believe the ice in her eyes was colored contacts.

the cold consumed her from the inside out.  and she let it.

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(had this idea a while ago and it's terrible but whatever)